Go Rest High, Mrs. Mary

While I was away, on a five day Labor Day vacation and family reunion, I got a text from a friend saying that one of my loyal clients of over a year, had passed away.

I was heartbroken and relieved for her all at the same time.

I met her when she was struggling with the beginnings of Alzheimer's and stayed with her into the her last days of hospice, once a week- every week. I didn't know her before the Alzheimer's had settled in but, it was soon enough to catch a glimpse of who she was. Some of our conversations were repetitive weekly, but other times I was able to meet the spunky, quick witted and totally in love and devoted wife she was. I knew from the first day that I met her that she didn't put up with much. She was an independent woman in thought, word and deed. Strong. She wanted to have control and yet she was so humble and easy going.

Once a week, every Wednesday at 1:00pm, I would come and she would greet me with the same warm smile. Confused or not, always pleasant, present... ready to take on whatever was ahead of her...although it was always on her terms! She told me stories of her animals, her kids, her travels. She told me about her son that died there in her home. It was always the same story and the same sadness of loss every week when she spoke of him. She made jokes in almost every breathe. She was always concerned about how I was being paid and searching for her purse, even though her daughter had taken care of it a day before. She was classy and considerate. She let me know she put her husband through college and she always had stories to tell on her kids, reminding me that raising children was hard, but worth it. She adored her children and being their mom. She spoke her mind honestly but also with love and sincerity.

I will never meet another person like her. She was genuine, even when she was confused. That is the product of a strong woman and a sense of self. Her essence remained stable even though a part of her was gone. I was lucky enough to meet her, to be a part of her life. Even those last week's where all I did was wash her hair in bed because she couldn't get up. She was still there, in her weakest and frailest moments of life. The days she was asleep more than she was awake. I could say her name, face to face, to tell her hello...that I was there, and she would open her eyes ever so slightly to look at me. She would try to talk to me but I couldn't understand what she was saying.. What she and I understood was a smile. And I would tell her to rest easy while kissing her sweet and beautiful face. For over a month, I was sure each day might be the last, only to be graced with another opportunity to wash and dry her beautiful grey hair. The last day I was there, I didn't get to take care of her, she was too frail and I was told it wouldn't be good to move her. So, I washed and cut her husband's hair that day. They are a fictional love story, but for real. Their love for one another was a sight to behold. I saw it and experienced it for over a year. So beautiful and simple and genuine!

After doing his hair, I walked over into her room...across the hall from him but not too far away. A few extra kisses and the same words, "Rest easy Mrs Mary. I love you." She was gone within that week. Free from that old body and confused mind. She is new and flying high with family, friends...with God. She loved God and knew where she would be, in the end. In His arms. I'm glad she is there! Alive and well. Waiting for us.

Death is something we will all experience...she knew that...and she also knew that it means peace. Mrs. Mary, it was a pleasure, thank you! I miss you already. Until then.....rest easy! I love you.

In loving memory of Mary